shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Alive.
So much puke
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
