garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
