You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
