Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
