I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
