4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the day after is always just damage control
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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