I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
