I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
