Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
