so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
