I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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