i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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