I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
