Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
