just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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