you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
