guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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