maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
