whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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