just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
