If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
