well you can't waste a boner
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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