He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
