Sponge bath it is.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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