ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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