i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
where does the pee come out of this thing
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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