my mouth tastes like poor choices
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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