so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
