You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
