my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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