the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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