WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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