Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
