It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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