O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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