So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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