I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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