I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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