I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
