I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize