Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
