I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
