Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
