You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
