she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize