Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
