so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bring money and cleavage
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
