no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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