maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize