watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize