stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
