Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
