What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
