I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
