how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
