no, he came in my armpit
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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