your parents love me but you hate me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
