Its about making memories worth repressing
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
