guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
zippers are such a cool invention
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
