if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
