She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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