its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
