It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize