He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
