Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
